Episode 118
There are moments in certain conversations when you can feel something land, not just intellectually, but emotionally. That happened for me in my recent conversation with Claude Silver.
I’ve spent my career sitting with leaders at all stages, from early career professionals trying to find their footing, senior executives carrying the weight of thousands of people, HR partners tasked with holding culture together during constant change. And across all of those roles, one quiet question keeps resurfacing:
Is it actually safe to be myself at work?
Claude Silver has made a career and a calling out of answering that question with humanity, honesty, and courage. As Chief Heart Officer and author of Be Yourself at Work, Claude isn’t offering a soft or naïve perspective. She’s offering something far more practical: a reminder that leadership without authenticity eventually collapses under its own weight.
This conversation wasn’t about being perfect, oversharing, or “bringing your whole self” in a way that feels performative. It was about presence, intent, emotional intelligence, and the small, human decisions that either build trust, or quietly erode it.
Authenticity Isn’t a Personality Trait, It’s a Practice
One of the things I appreciated most about Claude’s perspective is that she doesn’t treat authenticity as a fixed trait. You’re not either authentic or inauthentic. You’re not “good at it” or “bad at it.”
Authenticity, in the way Claude describes it, is something you practice, moment by moment, through how you show up, how you listen, and how you respond to the people around you. It shows up in other ways: whether you ask a real question or rush to solve, whether you create space or create urgency, or whether you make room for emotion or rush past it.
So often, leaders believe authenticity requires bold declarations or dramatic vulnerability. In reality, it’s much quieter than that. It’s choosing to be present instead of distracted. It’s allowing yourself to be human instead of armored. It’s letting go of the belief that leadership requires emotional distance.
Claude uses a phrase that stayed with me long after our conversation ended: “leaving a heart print.”
The idea is simple, and that’s what makes it powerful. Every interaction leaves an imprint. We either leave people feeling seen, steadied, and supported, or tense, diminished, and unseen. Authentic leadership isn’t about being memorable. It’s about leaving people better than you found them.
The Hidden Cost of Fake Urgency
One of the most resonant parts of our conversation centered on what Claude calls “fake urgency.”
If you work in a modern organization, you know this feeling well. Everything is urgent. Everything is ASAP. Everything feels like a crisis, until nothing does. Over time, urgency becomes noise, and leaders lose their ability to distinguish between what truly matters and what simply feels loud.
Claude is refreshingly direct about this: fake urgency erodes presence.
When leaders are constantly rushing, they’re not listening. When everything is framed as an emergency, people stop trusting the signal. And when leaders operate in a state of perpetual urgency, they unintentionally teach their teams that calm, thoughtful work isn’t valued.
This matters deeply for well-being, but it also matters for performance. Psychological safety doesn’t survive in a culture of chronic urgency. Creativity doesn’t either. Neither does learning.
One of the most profound leadership shifts I’ve seen over the years is when a leader realizes that slowing down, intentionally, is not a loss of control. It’s an act of leadership. It tells people: I trust us enough to think.
Emotional Intelligence Isn’t Optional Anymore
For years, emotional intelligence was treated as a “nice to have.” A leadership bonus. Something you developed once you mastered the technical side of your role. That framing no longer holds.
Claude’s work makes it clear: emotional intelligence is foundational. It’s the infrastructure that allows everything else to function, decision-making, collaboration, resilience, trust. Without it, even the most brilliant strategy falls apart.
What struck me is how Claude describes emotional intelligence not as emotional labor, but as emotional literacy. It’s the ability to recognize what’s happening, internally and externally, and respond with intention instead of reaction.
Leaders don’t need to become therapists. They don’t need to absorb everyone else’s emotions. But they do need to notice. To listen. To understand the impact they’re having, not just the intent they carry.
This is especially critical in today’s workplace, where stress levels are high, identities are layered, and many people are carrying invisible burdens. When leaders ignore emotion, they don’t eliminate it. They drive it underground, where it shows up later as burnout, disengagement, or quiet quitting.
Belonging Is More Than Inclusion
One of the most important distinctions Claude makes is between being valued and truly mattering. Being valued often means your output is appreciated, your contributions are recognized, and you’re useful. But mattering goes deeper. It means your presence itself is significant. That who you are, not just what you produce, has weight.
Belonging grows in environments where people feel they matter. This doesn’t come from slogans or initiatives. It comes from everyday leadership behavior. From whether people feel safe to speak. From whether leaders listen without interrupting. From whether someone can admit they’re struggling without fearing consequences.
In my work with organizations, I’ve seen again and again that belonging isn’t created through grand gestures. It’s created through consistency. Through leaders who show up the same way on good days and hard ones. Through leaders who don’t disappear when things get uncomfortable.
Work Shouldn’t Cost You Your Soul
One of the most honest moments in our conversation came when Claude talked about work-life balance, and why she doesn’t believe in it as a goal. Balance suggests perfection and symmetry; a life where nothing tips too far in any direction. But leadership, and life, don’t work that way.
Claude offers a more humane reframe: preservation of soul. The question becomes not “Am I perfectly balanced?” but “Is this work allowing me to remain myself?” That’s a question every leader should ask, not only for themselves, but for their teams.
Because when work consistently requires people to suppress who they are, disconnect from what matters, or perform versions of themselves that don’t feel true, the cost is high. It shows up as disengagement, exhaustion, cynicism, and loss of trust.
Authentic leadership isn’t about removing challenge. It’s about ensuring that challenge doesn’t strip people of dignity.
What This Means for Leaders
Claude’s work, and this conversation, reinforces something I believe deeply: leadership today is less about having the right answers and more about creating the right conditions where people feel safe enough to think, feel steady enough to grow, and can bring their humanity to work without fear.
For leaders wondering how to begin practicing this kind of authenticity without overcorrecting or oversharing, here are a few grounded starting points.
Actionable Steps for Leaders
- Audit your urgency: Notice how often you frame requests as urgent. Ask yourself whether the pace you’re setting is intentional or habitual, and what message it sends to your team.
- Practice presence before performance: In conversations, focus first on understanding before solving. Let people finish their thoughts. Resist the urge to jump ahead.
- Model humanity in small ways: Share something real, not dramatic, about your day, your life, or your experience. Authenticity grows through relatability, not disclosure.
- Create psychological safety through response, not reassurance: People don’t trust what you say about safety, they trust how you respond when something goes wrong.
- Leave a heart print: Ask yourself after interactions: did this person leave feeling steadier, clearer, or more supported than when they arrived?
What’s Possible When We Lead With Heart
Claude Silver’s message isn’t about lowering standards or avoiding hard conversations. It’s about leading with intention, empathy, and presence, even when things are complex.
In a world where work often asks people to move faster, do more, and feel less, choosing authenticity is a radical act. It’s also a deeply practical one.
Because when leaders show up as humans, they give others permission to do the same. And when people feel safe enough to be themselves, they don’t just survive at work, they contribute, connect, and thrive.
That’s what’s possible when leadership starts with heart.
