If I asked you to picture yourself at a networking event—perhaps a conference or a cocktail hour—what’s your immediate reaction? Do you feel excitement, anxiety, or perhaps a combination of both?
If you’re like most people, the thought of networking triggers some level of discomfort. Maybe it makes your stomach churn, or perhaps it just makes you want to stay home and avoid the whole thing altogether. But what if networking didn’t have to feel so uncomfortable or intimidating? What if networking could actually be enjoyable, authentic, and deeply rewarding?
This week, I had the pleasure of sitting down with Nicole Wood, CEO and co-founder of Ama La Vida, a career coaching firm dedicated to helping people navigate their professional journeys with intention and clarity. Nicole’s insights aren’t simply theoretical—they’re deeply personal. Her own career transition from management consulting to entrepreneurship taught her firsthand the value of genuine networking, and she now shares that wisdom with others who want to transform their relationship with networking.
In our conversation, Nicole flipped the traditional narrative around networking on its head, encouraging a mindset shift that moves from viewing networking as a chore or a forced activity to approaching it as authentic relationship-building. After our conversation, I felt energized, inspired, and equipped with actionable strategies—and I’m thrilled to share them with you today.
Meet Nicole Wood: From Consultant to Entrepreneur
Before co-founding Ama La Vida, Nicole was deep into the hustle of management consulting, helping big companies solve big problems. But as is often the case, success didn’t necessarily mean fulfillment. Nicole found herself living out of hotel rooms, feeling disconnected from the work, and wondering if there was something else—something better—waiting for her.
It was during a particularly uninspiring business trip, in a cramped hotel room in Kentucky, that Nicole realized she was trading precious time and energy for a job that didn’t align with who she was or what she valued. It was a pivotal moment: the realization that she wanted her career to mean something more.
With the help of a leadership coach, Nicole took the brave leap to pivot careers, eventually co-founding Ama La Vida—a coaching firm aimed at helping individuals build meaningful professional lives. Nicole believes passionately that work can—and should—be fulfilling, and she’s committed to helping others navigate career transitions with clarity and confidence.
Why Networking Feels So Scary—and Why It Shouldn’t
So why does networking trigger such intense feelings of discomfort for so many people? According to Nicole, much of it comes down to perception. We often think of networking as transactional, something people do for self-promotion or to “get something” out of others. That mindset alone can make even the most outgoing person feel uncomfortable.
Nicole challenges us to rethink this traditional approach. Instead of viewing networking as an awkward self-promotion exercise, she encourages a shift to seeing it as cultivating genuine relationships. After all, Nicole points out, your network is truly your professional currency. Just like friendships or personal relationships, professional relationships need nurturing, authenticity, and genuine care.
Key Mindset Shift: From Transactional to Authentic
Nicole explains:
“Networking doesn’t have to be this uncomfortable thing you dread. Think about it less like professional obligations and more like building friendships—because that’s really what effective networking is about.”
When you adopt this perspective, networking becomes less about forced small talk and awkward self-promotion, and more about cultivating meaningful connections based on shared interests, values, and mutual support.
Actionable Steps to Overcome Networking Phobia
Shifting your mindset about networking is an important first step, but what does this look like practically? Here are actionable strategies Nicole recommends to transform your networking experience:
Start Small and Manageable
You don’t need to dive headfirst into a massive networking event. Instead, Nicole recommends small, consistent actions that build your confidence and comfort level gradually.
For instance:
- Attend a local networking event or a workshop with a limited number of attendees.
- Reach out to a former colleague or classmate via LinkedIn for a simple check-in.
- Schedule a virtual coffee date with someone you admire professionally.
By starting small, you reduce the anxiety around networking and allow yourself to build confidence over time.
Reframe Your Intentions
One of Nicole’s most powerful suggestions is to approach networking as you would approach friendship. Ask yourself:
- How would you reach out to a friend if you needed a favor?
- How would you catch up if you ran into them unexpectedly?
Use this mindset to shape your interactions. You’ll find conversations feel more natural, genuine, and less anxiety-inducing.
Nicole beautifully summarizes this idea:
“Don’t worry about your professional network. Think about it as your professional friendship group. You’ve been building friendships your entire life. This is just another application of that skill.”
Practice Consistency, Not Just Intensity
According to Nicole, the strength of your network comes from consistency. Rather than approaching networking with intense bursts of effort (often only when you desperately need something), develop simple systems to regularly maintain your relationships.
Consider:
- Setting a weekly or monthly reminder to reach out to someone in your network.
- Sending short, authentic messages like, “Hey, I thought of you today. How have you been?”
- Engaging periodically with your connections’ posts on LinkedIn or social media.
Consistent interactions build trust, familiarity, and meaningful relationships over the long-term.
Clearly Communicate Your Needs
Many people worry about asking for favors or opportunities from their network. But Nicole emphasizes that clearly communicating your needs actually makes it easier—not harder—for others to help you.
When reaching out, try to be specific. For example:
- “I’m exploring new opportunities in digital marketing. Would you have 15 minutes to chat about your experience?”
- “Do you know anyone hiring in your company’s marketing department?”
Specific requests allow your contacts to easily understand and respond to your needs.
Conduct a Network Audit
Another powerful tool is conducting a quick audit of your existing network to identify gaps. Nicole suggests categorizing your contacts into groups such as:
- People who create opportunities
- People who offer expertise or insights
- People who provide emotional support or guidance
Once you understand the structure of your network, you can strategically strengthen relationships or fill gaps by proactively seeking out new connections.
The Power of Genuine Connections
Nicole’s message resonates deeply: networking is fundamentally about genuine connections. She reminds us that professional success is greatly enhanced by authentic relationships, not superficial connections. Her own story is a testament to the transformative power of meaningful, intentional networking.
Nicole’s insights remind me—and I hope they remind you—that connecting with others doesn’t have to feel transactional or forced. Instead, it can and should feel natural, human, and rewarding. By adopting her strategies and shifting your mindset, you can break free from networking phobia and build a thriving, supportive professional community around you.
Nicole’s parting advice emphasizes simplicity, authenticity, and consistency:
“Don’t overthink it. Keep it human, keep it authentic, and remind yourself of the long-term value and joy that real connections can bring into your life.”
If you’ve ever felt trapped by networking anxiety, Nicole’s approach can change the way you view professional relationships forever.
About Nicole Wood and Ama La Vida
Nicole Wood is the CEO and co-founder of Ama La Vida, a groundbreaking career coaching firm dedicated to helping individuals craft meaningful careers and lives. She describes her leadership style as cultivating rather than commanding, aiming to empower both her team and clients to thrive. Ama La Vida offers coaching designed to help people unlock personal fulfillment and professional success through intentional career choices and authentic relationship-building.
I hope Nicole’s wisdom encourages you to embrace networking with new energy and perspective. You might just find yourself actually enjoying it—and building friendships along the way.
